25 weeks

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I am absolutely in amazement that I am 25 weeks along. Even with my ever growing belly and a baby that really really likes to kick me, it still seems unreal sometimes. According to the apps on my phone our baby now weighs somewhere around 1.5lbs, and it certainly feels like it. My weight gain is right on track at about 9.4 lbs right now. I am just starting to have a little bit of back pain off and on, but thankfully prenatal yoga is helping a lot with that. I am still really enjoying my pregnancy and cannot wait to meet this baby. I am so excited to actually meet this little one that keeps kicking me. Baby really likes to surprise me, it will settle down and I'll think its done then kick/punch me really hard right below my belly button, and yes it makes me jump most times when it does this. It was also enjoying kicking Daron in the face the other night when he had his head laying on my belly.

My biggest complaint right now is that it is starting to get really hard to get comfortable to sleep at night. I tend to sleep really crappy at night and then end up feeling like a need a nap during the day, and I suck at taking naps!

We got carpet installed in the baby's room this last week, so now we just need to finish installing trim, install the window, and finish 2 more letters on the wall. I am excited to actually start getting stuff in there, and start getting some stuff up on the walls. My house is slowly getting organized, and we only have a few more projects to finish now. I have a bunch of things to plant in the garden this weekend and then in another week or 2 I will be ready to plant everything else. My typical attire when its hot and I'm working outside is a swimsuit top and shorts, and you know what, this pregnant lady decided I'm not afraid to stick with that(at least for now). I'm perfectly OK with showing off my bare pregnant belly.

We have been thinking more lately about how we want our birth to go, and things we would like to happen. I'm planning on a natural birth and would really like to avoid any drugs. I would also like to avoid an IV if at all possible. We are only like 5 minutes from the hospital so I am comfortable with and hoping to stay at home for as long as possible, which will hopefully be made easier with our doula here. I am not expecting childbirth to be easy, but I am comfortable with my own body and my body's ability to do this. I am also comfortable with my mental ability to cope, and have realized over the course of the last year, how much control our mind has over our body. I have to admit it drives me a little bit crazy when people look at me like I'm stupid for wanting a natural birth or like I'm crazy for not wanting medication. Sometimes when they even come out and say that they think I'm crazy for wanting a natural birth. I realize there are things that can go wrong, and I realize that plans can change, I mean I'm not stupid :). I'm not afraid of a challenge though, and personally I want to be in control of every aspect of my body during birth if at all possible. I'm not expecting it to be painless, I mean come on now. I am expecting pain, but I am also trying to prepare my body to deal with that pain without drugs. Most of all I am expecting that no matter how bad the pain is it will all be worth it when it's over. I mean I get to meet my baby! My biggest fear about my birth is for what I want to be ignored. So far though I am confident in my doctor and hope that won't be the case.

Pregnancy, Inertility, and Mother's Day

Sometimes I am still amazed that after trying for so long I finally have this little miracle growing inside of me. I am so thankful for this baby and for the chance to be a mother. Sometimes infertility still leaves me a little bitter though. It still hurts sometimes to see the people who can achieve so easily (and cheaply) what was so challenging(and expensive) for us. Its not so bad when you know they appreciate what they have been given, but when all they can do is complain about everything, then I just want to slap them or something. Daron and I were so excited when we first started trying to conceive. We had talked about having kids since we got engaged 6 months into our relationship, so when we actually started trying it was really exciting. As time went by though I admit it strained our relationship because something we both wanted so badly just wasn't happening. We are stronger now for what we have gone through, but infertility still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. This amazing life growing inside me means we have "overcome" infertility, but I still know that to get our 2nd or our 3rd child we have to go through it all over again. There are so many times that I just hope and pray that maybe Daron's retrieval surgery miraculously opened something up and maybe number 2 can happen naturally but in reality I know that isn't a real possibility.

Our little miracle growing inside me makes me smile every day. I think that makes up for the hurt that infertility still shoves in my face sometimes.

In other news, it was nice to actually be able to be happy on Mother's day this year. Mother's day just plain sucks when you have been trying to conceive and it just isn't happening. Now having this little miracle growing inside of me it was actually pretty good. While I'm not officially a Mom yet, I'm over halfway there, and it's good to feel like the goal is actually in sight. I have to thank my family for helping make it a great day too. 

A Little Something

Friday, May 11, 2012

This has taken me a lot longer to get around to posting than it should have but it has been a busy week. Thanks to Jules over at The Road Less Traveled I have received the "One Lovely Blog Award"!
The rules for this award are as follows.

1. Share who gave you this award with a link back to their blog
2. Write down 7 random facts about yourself
3. Give this award to 15 others (I'm going to follow Jules here and just give it to 5)
4. Let them know they have an award
5. Pop the award on your blog

Now for the 7 random facts about myself.

1. I still haven't decided what I really want to do when I grow up :). I have a B.S in Computer Science but really despise sitting at a desk and working on a computer all day long. I have considered going back to school to either get my CNA license or to become a Vet Tech, but am not sure which I would prefer. What I would really love is to move to the country and start establishing the hobby farm I have dreamed of and be able to make enough money off of that to contribute to the family finances.

2. I started fencing when I was 15 and was actually really good at it. It has now been 2-3 years since I have fenced but I still hope to get back to it at some point. It works as a really good stress relief for me...I mean come on I get to poke people with a foil(the swords used in the particular type of fencing I do).

3. I don't think I could survive without animals around me. While I admit they can drive me crazy sometimes I love every one of them. Animals have such personality and they tend to remind us that we shouldn't take things so seriously all the time.

4. I grew up in a farmhouse surrounded by corn/soybean fields. In the next 5-6 years I hope that Daron and I can find a place in the country. I just love the middle of nowhere. Plus we still want to expand and add a goat or 2, and well we can't have those in town. Maybe a potbelly pig too.

5. I absolutely love being pregnant. My pregnancy has been fairly uneventful, I haven't had to deal with morning sickness or any other really nasty symptoms. I have been comfortable in my pregnant body and I love knowing this baby is growing inside me. I can just sit forever watching my stomach move with my baby now that I can see it. I also love my pregnant body.

6. Even though we have to use IVF to get pregnant I would still like at least 3 children. We just have to figure out how to afford conceiving them...maybe we will get twins next time lol.

7. Family has always been number 1 on my list of priorities. I will drop everything if my family needs me. Daron is a lot like me there and I think that is part of the reason we get along so well, that and we are both a little crazy...this kid has no chance :).

I am passing this award on to the following blogs.

These Times are Hard but they will... Pass
Two Hearts One Love
Everyday is a Winding Road
Secondary Infertility Bluez
Something Out of Nothing

I actually put clothes away...

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The title of this post may not seem like something of importance, but I promise there is a point! Normally our clothes get washed and sit in laundry baskets for weeks before they finally get put away. I think we have even bought more laundry baskets so that we can go longer without putting those clean clothes away. I usually put them away when I am tired of digging through a basket to find that shirt I know is clean and I really want to wear but somehow is continuously elusive and takes 20 minutes to find. Yesterday I actually washed clothes and put them away the same day. I'm not used to this, actually being able to find clothes in my closet and dresser...that is amazing! I also went through the baby stuff I got from a friend and separated it into things that are gender neutral and we can definitely use, things that are definitely only able to be used if we have a girl and things like baby wash cloths where I don't really care if they are pink I will use them even if we have a boy. The things that will definitely get used I brought upstairs so that we know what we have so far, the other stuff I left in the container downstairs. In addition to that I also started organizing all the stuff in our family room.

We have 2 rooms in our house right now that are those rooms where things that don't have a place go and things that we don't feel like putting away and will get to later go. The family room is one of those. Yesterday I actually picked up and wrapped all the Christmas lights we were too lazy to put away in December/January, boxed the random Christmas things that never made it into bins and had Daron carry them all downstairs. We also had a pile of random empty boxes(because you never know when you need a box right?) in that room that I sorted only keeping that ones that were relatively small and would be useful for gifts or mailing things if need be. I broke down all the other ones and they are waiting to go out for recycle. I also combined the 4 boxes of candy that was back there and threw out the stuff that I think was from Easter last year.

None of this is like me. I normally just close the doors to those rooms and put it off for tomorrow(you know the one that is always another day away). So my conclusion based on all of this is that nesting is officially setting in for me. I'll take it since my house normally drives me crazy, I just can't ever seem to get the ambition to clean/organize those rooms I can shut the doors on.