Sometimes I am still amazed that after trying for so long I finally have this little miracle growing inside of me. I am so thankful for this baby and for the chance to be a mother. Sometimes infertility still leaves me a little bitter though. It still hurts sometimes to see the people who can achieve so easily (and cheaply) what was so challenging(and expensive) for us. Its not so bad when you know they appreciate what they have been given, but when all they can do is complain about everything, then I just want to slap them or something. Daron and I were so excited when we first started trying to conceive. We had talked about having kids since we got engaged 6 months into our relationship, so when we actually started trying it was really exciting. As time went by though I admit it strained our relationship because something we both wanted so badly just wasn't happening. We are stronger now for what we have gone through, but infertility still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. This amazing life growing inside me means we have "overcome" infertility, but I still know that to get our 2nd or our 3rd child we have to go through it all over again. There are so many times that I just hope and pray that maybe Daron's retrieval surgery miraculously opened something up and maybe number 2 can happen naturally but in reality I know that isn't a real possibility.
Our little miracle growing inside me makes me smile every day. I think that makes up for the hurt that infertility still shoves in my face sometimes.
In other news, it was nice to actually be able to be happy on Mother's day this year. Mother's day just plain sucks when you have been trying to conceive and it just isn't happening. Now having this little miracle growing inside of me it was actually pretty good. While I'm not officially a Mom yet, I'm over halfway there, and it's good to feel like the goal is actually in sight. I have to thank my family for helping make it a great day too.
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